This Is Why I Wish I Had Been In The Military

It bothers me I did not serve in the military. My branch of choice has changed form Army, my grandfather’s choice to Navy, my father’s choice, to Marines, my choice. You know, first in, leather necks, jar heads. Lots of tradition and from what I understand 33% Texan. As a matter of fact, people mistake me for being ex-military. Once my college ring was mistaken for a Navy Seal ring. Go figure …

Why did I want to serve in the military. Well … maybe for no other reason than the adrenaline rush of battle. Now give me a weapon and tell me to go and search and destroy some enemy and, oh, by the way, they’re gonna shoot at you and I might get a little more inclined to visit Vancouver, Montreal or Ottowa.

You might have seen this story on Yahoo:

WWII hero Donald Rudolph Sr. dies at 85

You see, Donald Rudolph is what I wanted to be. Brave, corageous and part of something bigger than himself. If you haven’t read Brokaw’s book The Greatest Generation, it’s not filled with stories like this. Stephen Ambrose’s books are filled with stories like Donald’s. Brokaw’s book talks about the spirit of people like Donald; their humility their self-reliance.

Ambrose brings out their stories in battle and makes me regret not being “on that wall,” as Jack Nicholson said in A Few Good Men.

So Donald, thanks! And I wish I could have jumped up on that tank with you and tossed you the grenade then provided supressing fire.

Being Jef Thunderfish

Yellow Dog

So after I dropped little a off at school the other day I had to wait for a school bus. What was usually a cross between mad dash and grand prix and NASCAR slowed to a grinding halt as I had to wait while the yellow dog ground us all to a halt.

Moments later a middle aged hispanic woman emerged with her 4 year old daughter and 8 year old mentally challenged daughter.

My priorities were immediately re-ordered and my drive to work was filled more with thanks for God’s “job well done” on little a.

Sometimes waiting for the “short bus” isn’t such a bad thing.

How My Mind Works

Other than the obvious thoughts of why women become strippers and how many people really do contribute to the porn industry, I think about other things.

Last night I watched the end of the Yankees/Red Sox game. As I’m switching between blogs and the game, out of the corner of my eye I catch the catcher doin’ the old crotch scratch. If you are a guy and have played baseball wearing a jock-strap and a cup you know that spot gets hot and itchy. That’s why men scratch ladies. They don’e make a Kotex cup that breathes. Having once had aspirations to play professional baseball I imagined a conversation between my wife and I as I’m on an away game and she’s called after the game has ended.

A: I watched the game tonight.

Me: Ya? What did you think of us tonight?

A: You need to stop touching your crotch or scratching or whatever it is you do between batters.

Me: (silence)

A: Yes, little a is now standing in front of the TV saying, “Daddy’s scratching!” and yanking on her panties like there is no tomorrow.

Me: Didn’t happen to catch the grand slam I hit tonight did you?

A: Did you eat at Denny’s again? I told you not to go there, we’re trying to save for a new house.

Me: (silence)

A: Can you pick up some of that soap you got me before you leave Boston?

Me: What?

A: You know that soap with the stuff in it.

I’m not really sure how it would work if I had actually made it to professional baseball. And that’s a brief glympse into my insanity.

A Pictoral Post With Comments

A training trip for me is always a time to share some events of the week and stories. This week was no different. Although the trip was not to Miami or San Francisco but to Dallas, it did lend itself to some interesting moments.

Baseball

Before I left I talked my co-worker into an outside meeting with a baseball game as the backdrop. A perk of working for a university. This is old school baseball. Only 5 guys on a team and you get 5 pitches. They play with tennis balls so no one gets hurt. Three trees serve as bases. If you are running the bases and a ball is thrown at you and you get hit, you’re out!

Little a

Demonstrating that she is ambidextros on the toilet.

M

M had a long mother’s day. We went to dedicate SIL and BIL’s second child little k. M even got some shopping in. Here she’s passed out in the back of the car next to little a.

Training

This was my view (and my finger) for most of the week. The guy in the front left was from a telecom company in the Bahamas. The rest were state and county employees. Very interesting class. I learned a lot and have some things to take back with me.

In this facility there are 15 training rooms that can hold 15 people each. It’s like Wal-Mart training.

Charizzo

I found a new place to get charizzo with egg and cheese across the street from little a’s school. To give you the idea of the size of this burrito it’s a 14″ tortilla. If you’ve never had charizzo sauasage please try it with scrambled egg and cheese, or as I had to order it, charizzo burrito que huevos e queso.

Cruel Joke

Ya, one day during break it was closed for cleaning and it stunk most of the time. Imagine 225 men needing to use this one restroom and it’s closed.

Dinner With Little a

By the time I hit Wednesday I was ready for a break from training and baseball. Little a and I went to the mall to do some errands and to eat dinner. We had a big time and she finished off her feast with an Elmo cookie.

4-0

We played 4 games in 5 days. For 8 year olds that’s pretty tough, but we’re now in 1st place and things are looking good. The big guy on the right is an assistant coach. The big kid in the center is the coaches son. He hits home runs. The apartments in the background I believe is filled with welfare and crack.

Justice League

Little a spent Saturday morning with her cousin a2 and her aunt and uncle. She wanted to see the super heroes but didn’t want to get her picture made with them. Here Robin is trying to get a feel of my wife.

Wonder Woman

This woman looked incredibly bored 10 minutes after the park opened. I would feel very self conscious if I had to dress like Wonder Woman. Don’t you know she was the object of a few men’s fantasies while at the park? Either her feet or her shoes were huge. Check out those boots.

Andy, I asked her if she would use her magic lasso on you and she said she would. Goodie for you!!

A won’t use the magic lasso on me though …

Sorry For The Lack Of Content

I’ve been in training this week. I’m planning a pictorial post with short messages.

In the interim ( interum ? who cares … )

Drop me a brief note about your first “crush” – the first person you liked.

Mine was Kathleen Y. In second grade. I have no idea why other than it was a fascination with long blond hair and tan skin.

A Generalist Post

I’m going to break it all down today. Surely you can find something you like.

Politics

I don’t think the war in Iraq or Afghanastan are going well. I believe I should follow our leaders and I voted for Bush, but that doesn’t mean I think everything he does is awesome. World War II took 6 years and we were fighting many countries. We need to be decisive about his Iraq place and just say, “look, if you can’t handle i, we’re out of here or we’re colonizing you.”

I am VERY fearful of Rumsfeld and Wolfowitz. These men scare me.

BUT … both political parties scare me. We are not going to see real change unless there is a biblically proportioned disaster. I hate to say it but it’s true.

/////

Cuba will one day be open again after Castro falls. This time it will be a prime spot for casinos and night clubs. Let’s see how this turns out.

Family

Parents keep pressuring the baseball coach of our team to play their kids in certain positions. I think this is wrong. These kids also whine when they don’t get their way. This is wrong too. Parents take kids sports too serioulsy. It’s not always about winning. It’s about learning and working as a team and having fun. That’s so when you look back as an adult and teach your son to throw and hit and catch you will have a link and a fond memory. No one remembers their record in little league when they are 36.

Work

Work isn’t going so well right now for me and maybe for a lot of you. I’ve decide, “That’s life.” If I get some moments of enjoyment that’s just icing and I hope I can get to a place where that’s true. The phrase I heard this week I like is this, “You can love your job, but it won’t love you back.”

Love

Some of you are breaking up with people or moving on from people or looking for new people. I hope you find LOTS of people to date and a special someone to marry. Experience, experience, experience! Find someone you are compatable with and the rest can be just friends. I can’t imagine waking up next to someone I’m not compatable with. That would be a death sentence.

Life

I’m learning it’s ok to make a mistake.

Proof that teens are still stupid, but imaginative

Two Charged After Tainting Teachers’ Tea

Mom Said to Help Girls Bake Ex-Lax Cookies

Teen Says Friend Asked to Be Hit With Car

Little a Gets a Bike

There has been great excitement in the Thunderfish household over a new “Dora The Explorer” 12″ bicycle. How she got the bike is a good story.

It all started when I lost my gas cap. Yes, in less than 1 month I have driven off without my gas cap being secured in place twice. On this particular occasion, little a was with me. When I told her I had lost my gas cap she said she wanted macaroni ( macaroni and cheese ) for dinner and not tots. She also said I needed to go to Wal-Mart to get them.

I figured that would be a good time to get the gas cap as well. So we went to the automotive aisle and found the gas cap and motorcycle helmets. In which this conversation ensued:

Me: You want Maudy [me] to get a motorcycle?
la: Ya
Me: They’re loud.
la: Get a quiiiiiiieet one
Me: ok
la: You get one here Maudy?
Me: No they don’t sell motorcycles at Wal-Mart.
la: Yes, they do!
Me: No, they don’t.
la: Yes, look!

At which she pointed to the bicycles. So we rolled over and I asked if she liked the bicycles and she then said she wanted one for her baby and a Dora one. They had a little bike with a back seat for a baby doll and a Dora the Explorer one. I said we would go home and ask Mommy if we could get a bike and she was excited but still stuck on having 2 bikes.

After some wheeling and dealing, we went Saturday night to Wal-Mart and picked up her Dora bike. She capitulated to just one bicycle.

She rode it around Wal-Mart to practice. I felt it was payback for all the times Wal-Mart has hacked me off.

Then we took it home and she rode it in the kitchen. Then Sunday night we went down the block and she rode and rode. She looks at the pedals. The first time she fell, I had that “uh-oh” moment and didn’t say anything fearing she would whine and cry, but she just looked up and said, “Ooops, I made a stake!” and got right back up and kept going.

She wore out about 2 blocks away and wanted to come home. But there she is with Dora right in front of my neighbor’s Oldsmobile!

Hmmmm

Conversations I wish I didn’t have or do I …. ?

We’re in the shower this morning and my wife starts the story with, “You wouldn’t believe the story M told me yesterday on the way home from school,” to which I know this is going to be worth the price of admission. So I ask what it was about. A proceeds to tell me that M’s friend’s older sisters have all divulged their pubic hair shaving habits. M then asks my wife if she shaves it all off or what. My wife continues on that the subject was never spoken of when she was in jr. high and even grown women never talk about that. My question was, how did the little sisters know about the big sisters? My wife retorts, “You would want to know,” but in all honesty how do they know, was it passing in the shower, polite conversation, “Oh btw, you need to shave that,” or was it an awkward moment, “Oh my gosh what happened?!?!?!”

My day without my immigrant

In general the protests totally backfired as far as affecting me. Please do it again. My drive to work was quick and easy and without hassle. My trash was picked up earlier than ususal, and no one I dealt with financially gave me any trouble.

It all goes to show these protests hurt no one and cause no disruptions. Which makes me wonder if these people are even working.