Is there any doubt

You would think if her husband made that much money kicking around a little leather ball he could afford to buy a better set of silicone.

Notable News

Ms. Teen South Carolina is getting a chance to re-answer a question posed to her concerning Americans not knowing where the U.S. was on a map. After a firestorm of double speak, Ms. Teen SC will get another chance to answer. That is after she educates U.S. Americans and South Africans and Iraquis about the country of South Carolina.

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Isis Arnesen, of Boston, kisses her 14 week-old daughter Lucia, after the baby went to the ‘bathroom’ after her mother noticed a sign from the child, Friday, Aug. 17, 2007 at a park in Watertown, Mass. Lucia is a product of a ‘diaper-free’ movement founded on the belief that babies are born with an instinctive ability to signal when they need to go to the bathroom. (AP Photo/Lisa Poole)

Photo at right shows mommy and daughter copping a squat and dropping the kids at the pool … or park.

All I have to say about this is, “Isis??? SHAZAAMMMMMM!!!!“

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Yes, M was very happy last night when the UPS man arrived bringing her her birth certificate. Why? Because it meant she could get her belly button pierced. It took 2 weeks and $30 to get a copy. ( Texas requires a driver’s license or birth certificate for piercings. ) A surprised me last night and got hers re-pierced as well.

Dude … this is why my wife is sexy!

To Sleep Perchance To Dream

Hoorah! to all the Texas teachers as this is their first day back for 90% of them. I promised A a glass of apple wine and a back rub later tonight. Her student count is at 24, and is 2 over the legal limit. But no worries, they will get a new teacher soon.

I slept poorly last night. I kept dreaming I was in a sleep study and every time the sleep apnea would kick in, they would squirt me with a water bottle. So wrong. I finally said, “Cut it out!” and went back to sleep in my dream.

My wife … while she slumbered she mused of having sex with me.

I’d say I got the raw end of the deal last night. That sandman and I have to have a little talk.

Was It Really That Easy?

Having a discussion with a coworker about her dating life is no big deal to me. I work with about 95% single women. My wife says I love my job, surrounded by predominantly attractive college women with lots of money, I do love my job! It is a lot of fun what I do.

But back to my discussion … As the gray hair has started to move into the temple, I have started to get a soft spot in my heart for how the single woman deals with dating. Frankly, I could never be a woman and date. It’s too tough waiting on someone else to ask me out and trying to compete with a population of other women of equal or greater appeal than me.

But for the first time when talking to my coworker I got a sense of what it’s like. I was fascinated with how women try to compete for a man’s affection all so he can call them up and ask them out. She told me that most women who want to date probably won’t turn a date down unless the guy is a total looser or a clingy type. I told her that I got turned down a lot and that it was rejection that kept guys from asking girls out.

I think somewhere I missed the boat on dating if it really was that easy. But I have a genuine empathy in my heart for the single woman looking to find a simple date.

I think that’s why I’m happy my friend has a date this weekend.

Letter From Camp

Dear Mom and Dad,

Thanks for sending me to nudist camp in Switzerland. I really like it. This shot is at a glacier. It was cold. I could tell I wasn’t the only one who was cold. My new girlfriend ( on the right ) didn’t even have to tell me it was cold. It’s fun here and clean. All the chairs have plastic on them and everyone shaves. Some of the men keep asking me if I know what a “Hot Carl” and a “Dirty Sanchez” are. Can you or dad explain that to me please?

Not to be forgotten mom, thanks for letting me go to Elvis Camp in the Philippines. This is my friend Catangui. All the ladies just call him “Cat”. He’s a riot but has a strange penchant for fluffernutter sandwiches and karate. He’s coming to visit this Christmas. Hope you don’t mind. He says dad will love having his 14 year old sister around. Cat had a little trouble with his other band in concert a few days ago. You can read about it here.

Last night we saw “Hot Love Of Satan” in concert. Remember, that’s my new girlfriend’s band? They rocked; I wish you could have seen them at Burning Man last year. That’s her on the right again.

Wish you were here,

Love,

Edge

All I’m Charging Rent To The Skelatons In The Closet

H was home for the weekend and it was a really akward weekend. He’s becoming more like his arrogant, whacked out dad. I’m really not liking the idea of him being around little a.

On the plus side, M and I are getting much closer. She now, at the ripe old age of 14, totally understands that her dad is a loser and sees me as a different person. This was the breakthrough I was waiting for to make our relationship work.

As such, we have had some interesting conversations lately, genetics, albinos, etc. One inparticular I like concerned what people hide from the public.

It’s no secret that people keep secrets. The policeman who parades in woman’s clothing on his nights off. The Sunday School Mom and Dad who frequent the swinger web sites for couples who are into “Wild”.

And I think as Americans we are probably better at keeping our secrets than other countries. We’re appaled at the blatant way Europeans flaunt their sexuality, but we never tell them we take nudes of ourselves and like to swing from chandeliers with the pool boy in private.

And this is why people never cease to amaze me …

* I am trying to post a few messages from email so if they look funny or don’t look right, that may be why.

4 Is The Magic Number

: Men, What do you carry in your pockets?

:: Women, what items in your purse can you not do without?

::: What unusual item/items do you keep as keepsakes in your purse/wallet/pocket? (pictures don’t count)

:::: What item do you usually forget to put in your wallet/purse/pocket?

Time For Sleep Study Number 2

It’s time for sleep study number two tonight. Ya, another post about that, but I’m ready for it this time.

M went with my MIL to an “art exhibit” by Ron Mueck. I quoted art exhibit because I didn’t think art was just Biggie Sized genitalia. I thought art was supposed to be about stuff that brings about emotions or something …. or something. Really, is this art?

Last Night I Had Me A Nightmare

The title is very misleading, it’s the beginning of one of my favorite Pat Green songs, “Nightmare”. Last night I did my first of two sleep studies. It reminded me of the scenes from the 1984 movie “Dreamscape” with Dennis Quaid.

I snore, I have for years, I know it. But I’m getting tired of it. In reality, I want someone to take out my tonsils. I frequently have sore throats and colds. I have a lot of allergies and allergy shots aren’t really working so to get my tonsils out I need to get my septum un-deviated. And while they are in there, they take out my tonsils. They say it really hurts to get your tonsils out, but this is what I have to do.

Last night they hooked me up like I was flying int the space shuttle. I looked like this:

Despite how it looks, you really do sleep. We spent the evening at the amusement park and I headed across town for my 9:30 sleep study. At 5:45 the let me go home. It was cold. I missed sleeping next to my wife. So obviously it wasn’t one of those “adult” sleep studies ( snicker ).

But at the amusement park last night I wondered if I looked my age, 37. I’ve seen some women my age and they don’t look so good for 37. Guys, I can’t tell. Now, this isn’t always the case, but do I really look as old as some of my peers? I can attest, I don’t feel that old, but maybe I’m edging into my mid-life crisis. What do you think?