Contest Over

I’m canceling the contest because no one reads any more. Or maybe they do, but who knows. Phats wanted to win but wouldn’t let his girlfriend play. So no contest; go home.

I did want to recount my Wal-Mart Lights Out shopping experience.

I don’t get to go grocery shopping. The War Department seems to think I have restraint issues at the grocery store, but sometimes we do need 5-6 boxes of cereal.

On this auspicious occasion I was tasked with making the journey to Wally-World while said War Department herded small adults. If you haven’t noticed, it’s rained in the DFW area a lot lately. and this Saturday was no exception.

I like shopping at the Wal-Mart in the adjoining white town suburb. There are more checkers and most everyone speaks English fluently. Which is another conversation altogether about my immigration policies and how there are too many people in the U.S. and societies that grow beyond their capacities don’t survive and all illegals should go home because, hey, it’s because you are here illegally.

Be that as it may, half-way through my shopping expedition the lights go out in Wal-Mart. Full blown power-downage. I keep shopping listening to Rick Springfield “Live” on my MP3 player because, ya know, it’s the only way to stomach Wally-World.

I need two items and they tell me, “Ummm sir? We’re going to close the store and you will need to check out now as the registers will power down at any minute and we don’t know when.”

I said ok and kept looking at the ball point pens. Another more blustery employee said, “Now sir, if the power goes out we won’t be able to check out your groceries.”

My response was, “Fine I’ll just start over at another store.” The look on his blustery face was shock that anyone would actually be ok with having to go someplace else to shop. All I heard were muddled, “Well … I guess … (fart) … if you think so …”

I mean really, does no one know how to use a calculator anymore? Dude, if it was my store and money would be leaving the store, I’m all about totaling things up by hand the way they used to.

Remember when scanners came out and the checker ladies keyed items in faster than the scanner? I do. They knew the price of EVERYTHING in the store and had time for chit-chat while they 10-keyed. Slacker Gen-Y’s can’t even find the dang UPC code or have enough sense to type in the UPC code when it won’t scan.

I go to check out and wait behind one nice lady and her daughter and foster child.

Checker starts checking me out … and my groceries too …

She scans the last item ..

Hits total …

POWER OUT ….

Game over man …

I’m off to the Ethnic Immigrant Wally World I didn’t want to go to for another 2 hours of shopping.

Moral of the story … don’t mess with the ballpoint pens or talk to Wally-World employees in a thunderstorm.

4 Is The Magic Number 05-24-007

I’ll be posting a few times today so you will see this at the top of each post. We’ll be doing a contest. The winner gets a CD. On this or any other post please contribute 3 songs ( include artist name and song title ) to be included on the CD. I’ll give you until next Thursday ( June 7th ) to enter your songs. The we’ll have a contest to win the CD.

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: What brand of deodorant does your spouse, bf/gf, mistress/gigolo roommate use?

:: What’s your spouse, bf/gf, mistress/gigolo roommate bedtime routine?

::: What outfit of choice would your spouse, bf/gf, mistress/gigolo roommate to wear to a wedding?

:::: What’s your spouse, bf/gf, mistress/gigolo roommate favorite kind of underwear?

We’re Having A Little Contest and Oops

I’ll be posting a few times today so you will see this at the top of each post. We’ll be doing a contest. The winner gets a CD. On this or any other post please contribute 3 songs ( include artist name and song title ) to be included on the CD. I’ll give you until next Thursday ( June 7th ) to enter your songs. The we’ll have a contest to win the CD.

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Looks like I have to cut out the cholesterol for a little while. I think 264 is high, no? Anyway, I weighed in at 188 for my checkup. I started my diet on Sunday and I’m down to 181 today. I expect to drop to about 170 and be happy. Of course weight loss isn’t the goal. So I’m looking at stuff and looking for cholesterol. Cheese and steak and my favorite lunch meats are out ( pastrami, pepperoni, salami ) as well as eggs and sausage.

I’m also upping my oatmeal intake.

I feel good. Maybe I won’t wake up dead next week!

I like it that my doctor sent a Rx for Vytorin with the letter. That cracked me up!

At least my PAP smear came back ok.

Ya, I’m still here

Since both of you are still reading. I thought I would update you on why I’ve been consumed with other things. The internet is for porn but it also feeds my family. As such I have been diligently working on probably the most complex two web pages of my career. I really like this site for our new student center.

What I do, among other things, is design sites for the university. I love it. I also write code and answer questions about copying and pasting.

So I take something like this:

And turn it into something like this:

Obviously, I get inspiration from somewhere and mine was a church in Dallas called Watermark. The site isn’t done yet, so there’s more work to be done on navigation on the right and other stuff. But I’m really pleased with how it’s going.

Also, I’ve been one of the “boys in the band”. Specifically, I’m the electric guitar player for our church band. To say I get to “rock” isn’t exactly accurate, but I like our music minister a lot. Very laid back and easy going and very lenient. I’ve played since I was 10 which makes it about 27 years. I love playing and this has challenged and pushed me.

I’m also getting into making guitars for myself. It can be a little expensive, but I like working with my hands and building things so this is nice. My first guitar I want to build is shaped like this:

I can’t build this right out of the box, but I am going to start with making a body out of pine and working into getting a “blank” and turning it into this shape. The top of this guitar is a pillow top maple about 2/3″. I’m looking into making the surface of my guitar out of mesquite.

It would look a little like this:

So I’m excited.

Tomorrow is Scharborough Faire and little a is going to buy a crown. So look for stuff like that from me soon.

I also want to talk about my Wal-Mart power outage shopping experience and if we could live without electricity. And if there are just too darn many people in the world.

Prom The End #3

Sunshine posted all the pics from Prom today. I must say, it was fun. But since I am a fan for the story behind the story ( and my daughter is beside me making a Jamaican flag out of a Beauty And The Beast coloring page ) I thought it appropriate to give you a couple more back ground pics.

First, is my “partner” for the MC job for prom my senior year. She was the Valedictorian. Very nice young woman. Wasn’t allowed to do anything after school except homework. Prom was probably a cool thing for her.

So my junior year I was head over heels for a girl named Becky. We met at a regional band tryout. Imagine a room full of trumpet players. If you know trumpet players, they are usually the most confident people around and can’t stand to be outdone. So Becky and I trade emails and next thing I know she’s teaching me how to kiss and we are writing letters ( she lived 20 miles away ) and just having a great time. Unfortunately, she was a year older than me and graduated and went to Florida State. She knew all the guys from Friday Night Lights. Years later we met up and I learned that her past had really caught up with her. She was a massage therapist at the 4 Seasons in Dallas. She had an old sugar daddy that was a professor at SMU who sent her all around the world in exchange for … ummm … certain physical favors. It was sad to see someone years later totally different than the funny happy girl I knew. I lost touch with her soon after. Before that, she was really cool and a lot of fun to be around.

Poll For Friday

Do you think the “Playboy Playmate Of The Year” should be allowed to have fake boobs?
	Yes
	No
Free polls from Pollhost.com

4 Is the Magic Number #2

: Who’s your favorite superhero?

:: If you could be a superhero what would be your superpower?

::: What would be on your utility belt?

:::: What city would you fight crime in?

The Long And Short Of Bubble Gum At Prom – Prom Post #2

According to Lizland, all good stories begin with something like, “When I was in band in high school …,” which I would whole heartedly agree with. Being in band got me into some exclusive events. I played taps as a duet after the Challenger explosion ( yes, I was a sophomore in high school when that happened ), I got to see every football game from a reserved seat and I got to be on stage for our prom court presentation.

You see my high school has one of the oldest “prom” traditions in the state dating back to the early 1930’s. The original “prom queen” was the girl who sold the most year books. Our prom is still called CATOICO which is an acronym for “CATtle, OIl, and COtton”.

Over the years CATOICO ( pronounced Cuh – toy – cuh ) changed to be just another popularity contest with female members of the court being nominated and voted on by the class population. The nomination resembles a political party convention in that nominators usually announce their candidates entrance with long pomp and grandeur to the effect of, “It is my most astounding and acrimonious privilege to nominate the most beautiful and talented Buffy from the house of Stopemfromfloppin to the CATOICO court.” And on and on.

So members are nominated and have to walk the aisle to be seated on the night of the court presentation which is he first weekend after Valentine’s Day. Each enters to their own music. My sister entered to the theme from Ice Castles ( and that dates her ). Most choose some popular song that is sweet or sappy. Then after the court is seated and the queen makes her entrance in a dress and a HUGE cape there is a talent show. And oh ya, when the court members are being introduced they are heralded in. Each member is introduced as follows:

(Trumpet tune is played)
“Presenting Buffy of the house of Stopemfromfloppin escorted by Dick of the house of Humpenheralot.”

So for two years I was a trumpeter and my senior year I got to be master of ceremonies with the valedictorian. Not sure if the Valedictorian has to do it or not. Not sure how it’s changed.

After they are seated there is a brief serious talent show with one or two comical acts. Then people leave and go to the party and get trashed. It really is a cool tradition.

My funny story has to do with dinner. S and I took our dates out for Chinese food. They were nice ladies, but not exactly honor student material. By the end of the meal we had convinced them that the Chinese word for chewing gum was “Moo Goo Shoo Shoo”.

Hook

Line

And Sinker

My date ended up getting mad at at about 2:00 AM when I took her home . She lived like 20 miles out of town in a house that resembled something in the Old San Francisco Steak House. Her house was a large open area lined on the second floor with white spindle railing and velvet wallpaper.

As we were driving home, Billy Joel was singing and she goes off on him and keeps saying he’s going to hell.

Quite a way to end the evening …

My junior year I went with my girlfriend from Odessa. She knew all the guys in Friday Night Lights as it was happening and being written about. She was sweet I wish she had been around for my senior year.