Project Pumpkin Head

In high school I remember going on one of many band trips to an out of town football game. I liked the bus ride, I just didn’t like the comfort of the yellow hound. One specific conversation on the bus I overhead was from a guy who had this huge head. He was rather suspect most of the time. Why he stayed in band I do not know, maybe because he had nothing better to do.

Anyway, he had started to read this book about aliens. At this point in history is when the whole alien abduction thing was about to take off. The book – I can’t remember the name, but people talked about it a lot – was a compilation of stories from people who claimed to be abducted by aliens.

From what I overhead, this guy was saying that the author’s point of view was these had to be real because these people had never spoken with each other or had any contact of any kind.

Many years have passed since that ease dropped conversation. And now everyone has a story about aliens and abduction and the like. I, however, still think about the premise that author brought forth long ago.

I wondered the other day if we should believe these people really were telling the truth about being abducted by aliens with a barrage and battery of scientific experiments being thrust upon them.

Or was this something else that was indicative or society. You see, I believe we want to believe someone or something is in control. When the vacuum of control is in effect we feel like we’re careening down the road with no harness, seatbelt of safety net. Surely if an extraterrestrial life form can maneuver his Toyota flying saucer to us and do experiments on us, then we should not fear.

I believe we want to believe in something bigger and larger than ourselves, but we don’t want to believe in God. I think some of us want to believe in God, but don’t want to believe what he has to say. And in a way, isn’t that just a little alien in itself?

Of Popcorn, Expenses, And Anger

(I’m writing this post as a comment to “and the pursuit of happiness” post today regarding education expenses and what it all means.)

My wife has inspired me. Yes, my elegantly small beautiful bride is returning to academia to pursue not one but 2 post graduate degrees. She will start her graduate work again in Early Childhood Education soon and then finish with a doctorate thereafter. It will take awhile, but she wants to teach in college and that’s the road ahead for her.

Mrs. Edge and I took 2 wildly different paths to obtain our bachelor degrees. My wife did it the way you typically see in a b horror movie. She started her schooling, hated what she was doing, kind of became disillusioned and had a kid and fought her ex-husband for every yard of ground to get her degree from a tiny school in Texas. She doesn’t go back for homecoming or alumni events. Every dollar came from her pocket. Every credit hour was a struggle as her ex did not support her and tried to sabotage her efforts. She owns 2 tshirts from her alma mater and I had her degree, teaching certificate and dean’s list award framed this past fall. And that’s all she wants to remember from college.

On the other hand, I was expected to go to school. My initial picking of schools was by mascot. I liked Auburn and LSU. I had no idea what they taught there or where they were ( well I knew LSU was in Louisiana ). Through hard work and persistence my parent’s had saved for my college education since the day I was born. A small savings account covered tuition and books. I got money for rent and a small allowance. My rent my last year in college was $215 a month.

Basically, they paid me to be a full time student. I was not supposed to work, but I did and it was part time and paid little and enough for my fun. I wasn’t a drinker or a smoker or a druggy and I didn’t have nice things. I did have pocket money. I worked for IBM one year in the computer store and sold 2 computers. But my senior year I had Tuesdays & Thursdays off and worked as a substitute teacher. GREAT gig! They called by 6:00 AM, and I was always called, and I got $90/day. I was getting a technology degree so when the lab person from an elementary school wanted to take off, I came in, turned on a black box and then started all the Apple IIe’s. All I had to do was make sure the kids played a video game for 40 minutes. Amazing. But I wasn’t supposed to be working.

When I was a kid I got a job at 12 making popcorn at the local minor league ballpark. My first paycheck was $112 and I was only allowed to work 4 hours a day at minimum wage. I was elated. I worked with one of the football coach’s sons who vended peanuts on quarter beer night. He would bring in $20 tips for a 50 cent bag of peanuts. This was in 1983. He loved it too. I worked odd jobs here and there for pocket money. I roofed, replaced acoustic tiles one summer and wanted to start my own pool business. Never happened. But I could have been the pool boy!

And to my foolishness, I never saved a dime for college. For that matter, I never learned the value of a dollar. I kick myself every day for my wasted time and effort.

My degree was free, in a sense. I didn’t have to work, but my job was to be a full time student. I did it well with 4 semesters on the dean’s list and only taking one summer session off a year. I went to school from September to July. I liked it. My job was also to grow u[ and I didn’t do that.

I watched friends struggle as farmer’s kids, brick mason’s kids, parentless kids, recovering drug addicts, news paper owner’s kids, you name it. I was around them. My friend whose dad was a brick mason busted his butt to make ends meet. He is now in finance and has a monster house in Frisco. I rejoice in his success.

I also saw a ton of kids who were there on mommy and daddy’s dime not doing jack and screwing up their lives. I couldn’t stand them.

My sister got an engineering degree and a great job out of college. She now works for a non-profit. I resent that plain and simple because I know my parents ( one who was schooled on a music scholarship and was a road builder’s son and the other finished school in her 60’s on her own after he left was the daughter of an oil truck driver ) paid dearly for her success. I feel like she’s pissing it away. It angers me.

I watch kids at the university I work for spend money like crazy, wear clothes you would never see on a state university campus and hear stories of how the professors coddle them and cajole them and make sure their asses are wiped clean. But now and then I hear stories of the kid who is busing tables and working nights to get a great degree here.

Outside Oklahoma has a great college education story. I don’t know where it is, but you will have to ask her about it. It’s good. And so does pursuit.

And I’m considering the post graduate world myself. Should I finish my master’s in counseling and Ph. D. in that field or should I pursue something totally different in technology? Either way I better make a good choice.

So what does it all mean? It means this; life is only worth as much as it costs you to live it and only if you understand the cost. If you don’t recognize the gifts you’ve been given and use them for good you are fooling yourself and taking up my oxygen. Learn the value and pleasure of hard work and a dollar.

Now I can sleep

Well, it went well. We did our shoot in the leasing office of her apartment complex in the hallway – the only spot with a solid wall – and it was only about 5 feet wide. My client was excellent to work with and fun, and hey, she was cute too. Her big boyfriend showed up to protector her … if necessary. I’ve finished the proofs and finals, but I haven’t posted them for her to look at so these are a sneak peak! In the end, it wasn’t so bad. The black and whites even look good.

A few nerves

I have a photo shoot today about an hour away with an actress who wants some headshots. I’m nervous. The more I’ve studied these the more intimidated I am. I’m doing this all without lights or a studio – we’re meeting in the clubhouse of her apartment. It didn’t help when I asked a forum yesterday what I THOUGHT a headshot was all about. The response was a Seinfeld quote, “as Kramer would say ‘you’re way off, way off’.” It didn’t help that the same guy pointed me to the top headshot photographer in L.A. as a reference. I’m so nervous I’ve been up since about 3:00 AM studying headshots and trying to think of how I’m going to get enough light and how I’m going to photoshop stuff up when I’m done.

Hopefully, things will go well. Here are some samples of the bar I’m trying to reach.

Nostalgia or something else

I’ve been reliving a bit of nostalgia lately in one of the most uncommon of ways. My wife gets People magazine. Fridays she races home with little a and checks the mail box for her dose of the rich man’s Enquirer. It’s a mess. Most Friday nights I lay beside her watching some re-run of some detective show while she gasps and exclamates at what the celebs are doing this week.

To me it’s old news, but for her its good drama. After buying the newest Bowling For Soup CD ( yes I’m still buying CD’s and buying downloads as far as you know ); my thoughts were solidified. I believe cut number three is “High School Never Ends” on my new CD. It’s basic tenet is that, well, high school never ends. And People magazine is living proof. We still celebrate the who’s who and who’s not and who’s getting married and pregnant and arrested for drugs.

I wasn’t popular in high school, at least I didn’t think so. I wasn’t invited to parties or with the “in” crowd, but I had a lot of acquaintances that were and that was ok with me because most of them were in trouble with the law or pregnant. I hated being in trouble. I still do. At least now I have a musical escape to fall to through a modern band, Bowling For Soup.

Below are my two most favoritest of their videos. Truth is, the 80’s weren’t that great. There was no internet, email or cell phones and Nancy Reagan taught us to say no to drugs but it was special. Very special. And at least it wasn’t the 70’s.

Happy Birthday My Beautiful Bride!

Today is a special day. It’s my wife’s birthday. She’s 35 today, but I think she lied on her birth certificate and is really 25. She’s getting a pretty good haul tonight for her birthday, but she doesn’t know it. Hard to believe she’s 35.

It didn’t help she started her day off leaving her purse at home. Well, not exactly how she started her day off.

I worked with a guy named Gerald at Microsoft. He had a birthday once and we asked him what he was getting for his birthday. His response was, “Oh, the usual, dinner, a movie and sex.” Well, Mrs. Edge has already gotten one of the trifecta!

Tito, a tissue please …

I feel bad about throwing napkins away. Not because I feel they are a kindred disposable soul or anything. Rather, I always need napkins in my office. ( Yes, I really do have an office now, not a cube, but a door and a window with a great view. )

When you work for a university, they have crappy paper products. Toilet paper is recycled and thin. I’m not sure if it’s actually recycled toilet paper or just paper that’s been recycled into toilet paper. In short, I bring my own. I’m always looking for napkins to wipe my face, blow my nose, clean up a spill, etc.

It reminds me of my grandmother. She kept everything. Of course, she had good reason. She was a 16 year old bride who lived through the Great Depression. She also grew up in the Big Sky country of West Texas around Abilene on a small farm. The woman kept it all. Many times I unloaded her dishwasher to find plastic knives and forks from Wendy’s.

My mother really didn’t like this. Maybe it reminded her of the hardships she endured during the 1930’s and World War II. I think it mostly drove my mother nuts that my grandmother lived like a homeless person when it came to plastic utensils. In an odd twist of plot, my mother keeps everything that comes in the mail as well as clothes. I can only deduce that my grandmother rarely had good flat wear and my mother had few clothes growing up, thus the hording of said property.

But these two women have something I think we lack and that’s an ability to make it through tough times. We’re pampered in our society. My stepson went through the house yesterday saying, “There’s nothing to do,” and walked by a room with a computer, a shelf with tons of books and a room with board games, a PSP, Playstation II, and a Gamecube and DirecTV.

It irritated me a little. Not much, as I understood, we both just wanted out of the house to change the scenery. I probably should have played a game with him or told him some stories of my grandmother. Instead I looked around my kitchen and smelled the left over natural gas from the stove and it took me back to the small house at 1317 Sunset Blvd. in Odessa, Texas. We would huddle around the heater or the stove for warmth in the winter to celebrate birthdays or Thanksgiving. My kitchen and living room are about twice the size of my grandparents house and they were incredibly happy and content with what they had.

I get angry with my greed some times. I want to make more, not so much for the stuff, of which I have plenty, but to ease the stress of bills and an overpriced mortgage; all my mistakes. I always want my wife and kids to have good clothes and memories of great trips. I have enough. I have plenty. And at times I need to look back in amazement that I have so much and be profusely thankful. And sometimes I want to cry because of my selfishness. And at those times, I need a napkin.

A meme from girl with greencard

Girl With Greencard did this meme and I thought it was pretty good so I played. But before I do, I wanted to relay a conversation my wife and my stepdaughter, M, had on the phone. My wife was at the OB/GYN for her yearly exam.

Wife: [M], let me get my clothes on and pay and I’ll be there to pick you up.
M: Mom, if I didn’t know what you were doing, I would think bad thoughts about you.

On with the meme …

If you could choose one vice in exclusion of all others what would it be?
selfishness

If you could change one specific thing about the world what would it be?
I would change it’s lack of sense of right and wrong

Name the cartoon character you identify with the most?
Either Foghorn Leghorn or Dexter of Dexter’s Laboratory

If you could live one day in your life over again which would it be?
Hmmm, either the day I met my ex-fiance or the day I chose my major in college

If you could go back in history and spend a day with one person who would it be?
Jesus is so obvious, excluding him, Adam and Eve

What is your one most important contribution to this world?
This is sad, I don’t think I contribute that much, maybe I’m wasting oxygen

What is your one hidden talent that nearly no one knows about?
I can make up alternate song lyrics on the fly – my wife hates it

Real lyrics to the Judd’s “Young Love”
She was sitting crossed legged on the hood of a Ford
Alternate lyrics
She was sitting crossed legged like a cheap little whore

What is your most cherished possession?
probably my daughter

What one person influenced your life the most growing up?
Mr. Spock, I loved his logic

What one word describes you better than any other?
stubborn

What is one thing you lost or sold or threw away that you wish you could have back?
My trumpet from high school. I sold it in a garage sale trying to make money. I could have gotten a lot more for it than I did.

Anyone remember Night Ranger?

I remember Night Ranger, who later split and became Damn Yankees and split and became Night Ranger again. I remember them because one of their songs started off

Four in the morning
Came without a warning
Everybody’s got a place to be

Well, that’s been my life the past couple of weeks, waking up at 3:00 AM instead of 4:00 or even 5:00 when my alarm goes off. I just can’t sleep. It has it’s advantages though, I answer all my email and by the time I get to work I can actually DO some work.

I do have some thank you’s and thoughts from today.

First, thanks to Beth, remember her, the hottie from So The Fish Said who wanted to mug down with her pediatrician? Well, now she wants to slip me the tongue too. Ok, maybe not exactly, but something like that.

Beth’s second blog “Diary Of A Playground Dropout” featured my little pumpkin today, little a. Beth is promoting children’s charity work by posting stories of what people do to help kids. This month she is encouraging us to write a card or letter to a child in a hospital and if you are in the DFW area you know we have two huge children’s hospitals; Children’s in Dallas and Cook’s in Fort Worth. I would encourage you to drop in a let her know what you are doing.

The OTHER topic I wanted to hit on today before we celebrate a 3 day weekend, is the topic of Christmas letters. I have to promote my two friends who did this – K and S – in the most tasteful of ways. They are the best and here’s why.

Most people send out something that looks like a resume to make you think your life is not worth living anymore because I scaled Everest 3 times this year and my kids are all in Harvard at age 6 or a I’m on my last leg letter and I got drunk the day my momma got out of prison and my truck broke down right on the tracks and well, I’ll be fine once I get my leg prosthetics. It’s difficult to write these letters without sounding like bragging or like everyone is going to be depressed at the end of the letter. But people try year after year.

I admit, I got way too into the letter thing a couple of years ago. The last one I wrote depressed me and the year before I sent out a CD with a flash animation on it. Yes, I went over the edge on that. Over the edge and into the ravine of bad Christmas lettering.

But K and S are different. K’s card was very nice, with a cute picture of his great kids and a fancy nice silver paint pen sent well wishes for Christmas. Classy, but then again K and his wife are classy people.

S and his wife send a half sheet of paper with a family picture. The half sheet tells us all what he, his wife and their two daughters liked this year. S is a big Letterman fan so it’s usually in the form of a top 10 list. And that’s the kind of people they are, humble and unassuming and super cool. And they mountain bike and yoga and do computer stuff in Utah. Livin’ the dream S!!!

I’m glad I have super cool friends like that to cheer me up after I read the other Christmas letters I keep by the loaded revolver.

Guns And Gardeners

Another Guns For Life Recipient.

Intruder trying to steal guns, jewelry gets a beating

Red Bird: Homeowner takes burglar’s weapon, uses it to pound him

By TANYA EISERER / The Dallas Morning News

A Red Bird-area homeowner turned the tables on a gun-toting burglar Wednesday night, taking the weapon away from him and beating him up with it.

The suspect, identified by police as 21-year-old Marquis D. Anderson, ended up in a local hospital.
…
Mr. Flowers said that Mr. McKinney went into the home through the window and confronted the burglar. Police said the suspect fired a shot at Mr. McKinney, but it hit a wall instead.

“He said by the time the guy realized he was in the house, he had already pounced on him and beat him up pretty bad,” Mr. Flowers said. “He can’t remember how he got the gun from him. He said he just had so much adrenaline pumping, he just kind of lost it.”

The burglar had tried to steal two handguns and jewelry from that home, a report said.

When police arrived, they found the unconscious burglar in a pool of blood on the hallway floor.

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And in other news, my mom is a Texas Master Gardner. It’s pretty cool. She graduated and everything. Her advice to me about my yard has pretty much been, “No, you don’t want to do that!” Go Mom!!!

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And finally tonight, I’ve gone back on my Zoloft, so don’t expect much creativity from me for a couple of weeks.