What’s on Jef’s Mind

Ahhha, we’ve reached Friday, some of us didn’t so we should all be thankful.

– My least favorite weather girl has been canned. We say goodbye to Rebecca Miller on NBC5i.com. Now I’ll know what the weather is going to be. The only weather person I know who predicted a tornado. She’s getting her masters at Aggieland in Homeland Security. It’s offered online there. Interesting …

– Looks like W met with the last known surviving Dough Boy from World War I. This has a special place for me as my grandfather was in WWI. When asked about WWI, W’s response was, "Yes, I believe my mother was a dough boy in WWI. And I think the Kaiser is hiding WMD’s."

– Napoleon would be proud. A REAL Liger. Thanks to Nannbug for posting this today. He eats almost as much meat as me.

What’s a liger Napoleon?

His father is a lion and his mother is a tiger.

He is the unintentional result of two enormous big cats living close together at the Institute of Greatly Endangered and Rare Species, in Miami, Florida, and already dwarfs both his parents."Ligers are not something we planned on having," said institute owner Dr. Bhagavan Antle. "We have lions and tigers living together in large enclosures and at first we had no idea how well one of the lion boys was getting along with a tiger girl, then lo and behold we had a liger." These two cats don’t normally have the opportunity to breed in the wild, as most lions live in Africa and most tigers in Asia.

You know what they call a cross between a bull terrier and a shistsu, don’t you? Yep a little bull-shit.

– Someone is getting one of these soon! Which means a new interview will be arriving in the near future on Thunderheads.

 

 

– Random Pics

Just for you Tink

 

Check out those tights and boots!

A trip to the Indian grocery store produced (snicker) … Sweet Balls

 

Did her pony herself!

Students had an event that necessitated the cotton candy machine. The next day we made cotton candy during work. LOVE the job!

My (failed) attempt at sushi. I need the kelp wraps. WASAAAABIIIIII!!!

The Spirit Of Blogger Compels You

I feel compelled to post something today. Something thought provoking. Something to make people wish I was stalking them.

I never realized how difficult it would be to teach a teenager anything. Especially in something I’m interested or have some expertise.

My stepdaughter dates, no, has a steady, wait, she sees this kid whom I will refer to as the monolithic tripod. For obvious reasons previously proven by the local printer in my house, this kid has nothing to be ashamed of, he just needs to keep it away from my daughter. It’s loaded … and with his endowment, loaded for bear.

What I have been vainly trying to teach M is that she can choose who she dates. The old notion of, "Well, he asked me out so I guess I have to go," should be an arcane thought to her.  But she continues to date this guy despite the fact she could choose any guy she wanted with whatever criteria she wanted. Its not that MP is bad to her, he’s just 14 and hasn’t quite learned respect yet. Much like M’s dad.

Which reminds me Hi, …

I read a book called Getting The Love You Want by Harvelle Hendrix a few years ago. Interesting book. Oprah made him more of a name recently with her new age voodoo. Briefly, his premise is that we select people to date/marry that help us resolve the conflicts we have with people in our past.

Hendrix refers to it as Imago therapy. Whatever …

Point is, if you squint and think really hard, … wait, not so hard you wet yourself, but if you think really hard about your spouse/SO/GF/BF you will notice they probably have a lot of the same characteristics as the parent you had the most conflict with. Then think about the people you dated. Again, not so hard on the thinking … You were probably drawn to people like the parent or relative you had conflicts with.

My wife has MANY of the characteristics of my dad, but in a different body – and a much nicer and more feminine body it is. I have had to learn to accept a small amount of physical affection, very little long discussions and very little sense of humor. It seems our unconscious is deeply motivated to heal our brokenness.

Honesty Post

"Edge Of The Blade" is the place I can come and say and do things I don’t normally get to do. But today, I am feeling very stressed and wound up tight. My life is no different than others with stressors and complications. Today, however, I’m having trouble handling things.

– H in all his 10 years is turning into his lazy a$$ dad and it’s stressful to my wife which stresses me out.

– The child support office is catching up with my wife’s ex and sending him letter saying, "Oh ya, BTW you’re behind … AGAIN!" Poetic justice that he’s behind AND an a$$.

– My wife has ANOTHER yeast infection. She discovers these after we have sex. So, no sex for a few days.

– I totally screwed up a solo, not once but TWICE in church on Sunday. Saturday I had put together a beautiful solo, worship was totally going smooth and I stepped on it and crushed it and mangled it like Joe Joe The Idiot Circus Boy with his new pet.

– I made a blogger’s short list of stalkers. I don’t have clue why. I read her site when she posted and on Cre8buzz. Now she’s thinks "You’re a stalker." I want to say, "You’re the wacko, you said the stalker was in Baltimore and if you post online and you’re female be prepared for weirdness, but it’s not me," but I’ll hold my tongue.

– I have less than 10 days to take defensive driving. I’m going to have to take it online and it’s looking like I’m going to have to stay up all night to do it.

– Today 68 tomorrow 35 and snow, I don’t know how my body is doing it.

– Our finances are – as usual -  a wreck.

– I have a project from the Vice Chancellor that is due in the fall and will take me from April to September to complete, however, they have no clue about anything, but want it in August and have given me NOTHING regarding it. I have to change 20 web sites and touch at lest 1500 pages.

– I need to get my masters and Ph.D., but I have no clue what I should get them in.

– I constantly have my daughter’s sight word CD songs running through my head. "F-O-R for is written F-O-R for is written F-O-R for is written this song is right for me".

All this is stressful to me, but I have THE ONE who can handle all these things.

So who showed up yesterday?

I know you’re going to wet your pants if you don’t know this. Actually, it was kind of a non-event in my opinion other than the paparazzi factor.  My interest was purely in the chick factor – height, weight and voice of this person. I stayed not for the diatribe or propaganda. Anyone pimping out their kid for a vote is sick to me. 

I waited for 45 minutes before she showed up … late. She has a SEXXXXXXXXXYYYYYY voice. Very petite, probably about 5’2". And nothing like the days when she carried a little weight around the White House Lawn. Very trim. Still has "Horse Face" as a co-worker and I agreed.

 

Hopefully, the newspaper’s pictures give you a better idea.

If you look at the ceiling tiles this will tell you the room is SMALL.  I could have chunked M&M’s at her and hit her from where I was standing. I was disappointed in the Secret Service presence. Only the Kampus Kop by the speaker and two out of frame on the right. NO SS in site. I expected more, but I guess if she’s over 21 she doesn’t get protection.

I think the girl on left is going to try and eat her.

Come to Texas

Last night it was about 75 degrees. At 9:05 PM it’s now snowing.

I saw something on global warming we’ll have to discuss, but that’s not who came to the big school today.

So how hot does it get where you live in the summer? ( Terri spawned this question because I was looking though her flickr photos at the lake pictures. )

~Jef

Guess Who Came To The Big School Today?

Find out tomorrow.

~Jef

Swimming Upstream Both Ways

The first time I started my masters, I was forced to take Freshman Psychology. Here I was getting my masters in counseling and I was being required to take the lowest level psychology class. I learned very little other than schizophrenia is a fascinating disorder.

While in class I met a guy trying to get his BBA. He was in his mid 40’s and taking advantage of a program to get 2 years credit in one semester from “life experiences”. In short the whole idea infuriated me. He would talk about how hard his papers were and how hard it was to try to relate his life experiences into a paper covering the basics of finance.

I wanted to say, “Well, I took finance and accounting and marketing and management and a load of other courses and you can’t tell me you’ve done any of it or learned it selling screws to truck drivers.” He was trying to shortcut the process. In short, he cheapened my business degree by getting the same degree in half the time. Shortly after they canceled the “life experience” path to a BBA.

In the same way I think a lot of people are trying to shortcut marriage but in different ways. I read and responded to a post yesterday concerning how tough marriage is and how commitment isn’t required in marriage. In fact, who needs marriage? I’ve only had 6 years experience of being married and my wife has a total of 13 years. It’s hard. You have to start at the beginning and work at it. Now the other poster had said that marriage needs to change because things are different now. Gay people should be able to marry and open marriages are ok and, well, hey why do we need to have marriage anyway. *

I contended that what has changed is NOT the institution. What has changed is people. People don’t want to reach to the level it takes to commit and do the hard work. Basically, they want something for nothing. They want an MRS or a MR, but only want to experience the easy parts of marriage.

The solution to gay marriage is not to re-define the institution. That’s what quitters do. The solution of living together does not equate to a committed relationship. The back door is always open in a live-in situation. It costs you something to get out of a marriage. So the question arises, does commitment make a marriage or does a marriage even require commitment?

My response is this: if you are truly committed to someone, truly, madly and deeply, then you have no fear in any commitment. If you are simply testing the waters to see if maybe you might want to commit, then you aren’t committed. You’re playing house until things get rough.

---

They want an ‘MRS’ or an ‘MR’, but only want to experience the easy parts of marriage.

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I love the story of the chicken, cow and pig who want to make breakfast for the farmer. Each committed to giving something to the farmer’s breakfast. The cow some milk, the chicken some eggs and the pig some bacon. You tell me who had commitment and who was just involved?

The same must be said for our society in general. Who among us are truly committed to the established institutions and who among us just want to change the rules because it’s a little bit easier and claim the institution needs to change?

* I understand some of you are living with your sig other. I don’t want to call you out or say you don’t have what it takes to be married. Even those of you who are divorced could potentially be angry. All I’m saying is that the debate of opening marriage and re-defining it is not a solution it’s just lowering the standard.

Since I have nothing else to do …

As a general rule, I don’t do meme’s unless they are good. Huck tagged me with Six Quirks.

1. I eat Cheeto’s on tuna fish sandwiches. And all my sandwiches have to have crunchy texture. I like crunchy.

2. I fart ALL the time. Seriously, all the time. Partly because I have some kind of colon issue that could kill me if I don’t watch out. It’s a running joke with my wife and I. “Ya know, honey, I’m really gassy lately.” Her response is usually, “Just lately?” I swear I could power Detroit with methane.

3. There is no higher compliment you can pay me than to flirt with me or send a pic of yourself naked, but only if you are female.

4. ( OMG this is taking forever and I’m only 2/3 of the way through ) I have a love hate relationship with the smell of vinegar. If I get it on my hands it stinks but I’ll smell it all day. It reminds me of the Massengil ads.

5. I have a freakish ability to change the lyrics of a song to make it funnier. My wife absolutely hates this. I’ll demonstrate. Many years ago the Judds sang a song called “Young Love” that started:

She was sitting cross legged on the hood of a Ford.

The new and improved:

She was sitting cross legged like a cheap little whore.

I am also able to match songs that sound alike e.g. sing the lyrics to a song while a totally different song playing but make it all fit.

6. ( Thank you sweet 8 pound 9 oz Baby Jesus ) I love talking about sex and people’s sex lives. Unfortunately, it’s not exactly good church or workplace conversation. I’m flirting with the idea of getting my masters in some sex research field. I don’t think they have that degree.

The last one was something about masturbating and backhands and so on … didn’t think that would be interesting to you.

I don’t tag people either. So if you want to play play along.

Oh my lord ….

Thanks to the dying Avery for this … I lost it at the 3:15 mark. I have to go and put new underwear on now.

Ok, you don’t suck as much …

Wow, Avery must really be sick, I challenged her bold faced on my blog and no response. Before I answer some more questions, I have a co-worker story.

Co-worker is getting divorced, but it’s not finalized. husband dies of a heart attack last night. So does that mean she gets his stuff or do the temporary papers take effect since it hasn’t been finalized? Something to ponder as I can’t ask her.

On with the questions …

From my little sister Tink
( Hmmm these sound like questions I asked you … )

What’s your favorite sexual position?

Hands down it’s reverse cowgirl (not work safe). Totally love that position. If I have a second it’s plain cowgirl and then doggy. It’s funny how that changes with different people. Totally loved missionary with the ex. Have no idea why.

What’s your least favorite part of your body? Most favorite?

I really don’t like my stomach the older I get. Black girls used to tell me I had a good butt and nice legs. I think secretly white girls said the same thing! But I think genetics has caught up with me and I don’t have that girlish figure I used to have. I get very self conscious about my stomach when I wear certain shirts. I gotta work on that stomach.

I would say I love the color of my eyes the most. They are really unusual. They turn yellow and green and brown. They are really cool. I like my shoulders, they are broad and when I do work out I have a really great upper body. I have a baseball player’s physique. So if that does anything for you ladies …

Blondes, brunettes, or redheads?

As many as possible …

I love women. I have dated all hair colors and I can tell you they are all women. Red heads do something for me. I have no idea why. Not so much of a blond fan, but you couldn’t tell by the celebrities I find hot! Kelly Pickler, Taylor Swift, Miranda Lambert, Carrie Underwood, and on and on. My complete list is here. Brunettes I have found to be a little more in depth. Not sure why, some brunettes I have dated have been ditsy and dumb, but most are the kind of women I like. Obviously I married a brunette. No offense to anyone else. You know what turns me on? Internal confidence.

I’m just really interested if the curtains match the carpet.

What do you want to be when you grow up?

I really thought I was going to be a professional baseball player, and that fell through. Then I thought I was going to be a lawyer until I actually worked for a law firm and that fell through. I have always envied people who knew from birth they wanted to be something. I mean, really, how cool is that to know that you can rest in knowing you don’t have to worry about finding a career. Honestly, I’ve found I’m pretty good at a lot of things I do if I work at it. I love doing what I’m doing – working in web work. I would love to be a doctor. I think a plastic surgeon or anesthesiologist would be cool. Anesthesiologist don’t even have patients; just people to do billing.

And more from Tink …

What is the meaning of life?

Most people expect this to be a tough question, but I found the answer years ago. And it works.

From Ecclesiastes 12:13

Now all has been heard;
here is the conclusion of the matter:
Fear God and keep his commandments,
for this is the whole duty of man.

What is your favorite superhero?

I loved the Superfriends when I was a kid. My favorite was Flash. Why aren’t there Mexican American superheroes? Like illegal immigrant man; able to swim any river, evade any border patrol and withstand the heat of semi-trucks …

Boxers, briefs, or nothing?

On you? Nothing … you won’t need them … ha ha ha ha

I wear Hanes Boxerbriefs with the comfort waist band. I really like them. I used to wear boxers, but I guess I got tired of them. And now and then … maybe I do go commando!

What is your most annoying habit?

My wife will tell you that I leave piles of things everywhere. I have certain places in the house I am allowed to leave my stuff otherwise it gets moved and I don’t like that. Or she’ll tell you I spend too much money eating out, so I don’t do that any more.

I’ll tell you that I don’t like that I have a bit of a temper. I pull the trigger quicker than other people and I’m not very understanding. Things to me are black and white. I’m also kind of forward. I was never really a smooth operator when it came to people. I don’t like to beat around the bush.

( unless it’s during sex )